dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
