at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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