i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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