her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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