can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
