Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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