I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
