i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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