I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
