next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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