now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
