You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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