She's JV to your varsity
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
