EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
