And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Are we still banned from the library?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
