Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
