About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
