I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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