pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
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