Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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