i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
