Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
