I am puke
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
