But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
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