I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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