Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
operation have a gay friend backfired
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
