I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
