is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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