so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just cropdusted the office
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
