fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
