I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
