Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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