the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Fuck appropriateness.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
