So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
