i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
