What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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