He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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