I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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