Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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