I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
