i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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