with your own penis?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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