He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
