Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
