Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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