dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
