i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
