1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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