We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
