gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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