Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
