DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
