ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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