I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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