No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
